Are you sick of looking at that worm yet? Okay then, let me tell you about my new dress--hey, where are you going? Sit down and listen! I got it from Downeast Outfitters for a slamming seven dollars, so it just needs to be one notch up from a potato sack and we're good. It's one of those dresses that you can smoosh in your suitcase and still wear without looking like a total hobo. See, that's how you know I'm a real no-foolin' American, because my clothing is judged first for its comfort and then for its comeliness. Maybe this is racist? But Asian and Hispanic women are always dressed so smartly, even at TJ Maxx or Ross, and then there are all these schlubby white moms in sweat pants with their hair and makeup not done (me, minus the sweat pants). It's sad that we're so rolling around in our own sick, but there it is. Maybe it's just Utah, though. Is it not like this elsewhere in our country? I can't imagine going shopping in heels.
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